Roy My Hot Diary and the Trouble He Causes
by Locked in a Stony Tower
Summary: Lily's friend gives her a diary that talks back to her. His name is Roy. He is incredibly hot. Inside him, Lily writes her story, including mistakes, disappoiontments, lust and love. Reposted when i accidently rewrote it.
1. My True Tale and the Tall one too

A/N: I disclaim

So…What's crackalacking? I said that to in a letter to my American Pen-Pal, and she said that I was "Too White" to talk like that. She said she loved me, but if I was at all concerned about her not having a laugh-attack that ended her life when she choked on her gum, I would never write that on paper that she saw. That's awfully prejudiced for an American. Aren't they all supposed to be laid back and accepting?

_That's a stereotype Lily _

Yes I know it's a Stereotype Roy, but I don't effin CARE!

Roy is my diary. My hot diary. My hot diary that was a present from my friend, Kat, Kathryn St. Clair. She's the daughter of a lawyer and a guidance councilor for juvenile delinquents. So she has little file cabinets instead of brains, and those file cabinets can diagnose your mental issues.

She says I have anger management issues. And I have to manage my issues by writing them down or some such nonsense. IDK! No, IDC! I don't care!

But for now, I have Roy. And if I don't write in him, he'll come out and start hitting on the next living thing until I write at least 20 minutes. And he'll be very hot. I don't want to lose Roy. Roy is the hottest thing ever.

_It's okay Lily, you don't have to worry, I love you most_

Hehe…Okay Roy, I believe you. You're my best boi.

So that's Roy. He was charmed to talk back to me sometimes and I rather like him. He appears however I picture my dream boy at the time. He changes almost everyday…today he has sky blue eyes, bleach blond hair, and pale skin, with slightly rosie cheeks. He's built like a football player. European football, not American Football. He's tall, with a strongish build and broadish shoulders. Yesterday he was a skater, with punk rockish hair. Hehe…he's always a pretty boy. He always has blue or brown or hazel eyes. Never green or black. I've also never seen purple, but not many people actually have purple eyes.

I hear voices across the hole that my boy crazy friend Marlene McKinnon knocked through our wall into the boy's dorm. Yeah, that's right, envy me. I can go into Potter and Black and Lupin's room when ever I want. I'm in my dorm, btw, stalling for time because I don't want to do my Transfiguration essay about why my partner Sirius Black successfully turned me blond, and my spell sent him to the hospital wing for three hours to be force fed hair re-growing potion (he fainted when he saw himself. Otherwise he would have been drinking them like Butterbeer, to save his precious locks. He told me afterwards, that he wasn't mad because it made his chest more hairy. I slapped him. Some things are just TMI). Not that that's the topic, but that's the jist of it. Meh. Me no like Transfiguration.

Oh! The voices are getting louder. Let us listen! And record, for later reference.

There, I crept over to the hole. It's disguised pretty well. I leaned back against it. Now I will be a spy…hehe…I must really not want to do Transfiguration.

_You know this is considered wrong on so many levels. _

I'm not interested in a conscience Roy! Now stop interuping my spying!

Uh oh…did I just shout that out-loud?

_Yup! _

Shut up Roy, this is all your fault.

_You know that Kat charmed all sounds to be contained to this room? And from the outside, sound is one way? _

Shut up Roy!

Lupin: You know, this isn't right. We're going against Dumbledore's trust in me, and not to mention breaking about fifty school rules and–

Black: You won't be wearing the badge, so it'll be okay to be bad, besides, Wormtail's okay with it. Are you going to let us think that Peter's got more balls than you?

Lupin: No…just…God Dammit Sirius! Are you gonna make me give you the emotional reason?

Potter (arrogant ToeRag from Hell): Just spit it out Moony, otherwise you have no hope

Lupin: Fine! I don't want to hurt you! There's no guaranties that I won't kill you!

Black: You, little, skinny wizard. Me, big, strong wizard. Me, hurt you. You, no hurt me…(trails off into giggles)

Potter (arrogant Toe-Rag from Hell) & Pettigrew: (Start laughing too)

Lupin: Oh I give up! It's no use arguing with you!

Oh Merlin. Remus Lupin is a male stripper. And Dumbledore allows it. And when he gets drunk he gets violent. And the other boys are going to go join him in his stripping career!

I've got to go confront them!

20 minutes later – Well…it went a bit like this…

Lily Evens, 5'7 and red haired burst into the fifth year boy dormitory, to recoil in shock at the sight in front of her. Sirius Black with out a shirt, lying on the dormitory floor, lifeless and bleeding. The blood pooled out at the feet of James Potter, holding the Beater's bat of the afore mentioned deceased boy, a crazed expression on his face. Peter Pettigrew gibbered happily, drooling at Potters feet, whimpering like a dog when one of the suddenly diamond studded boots kicks his face, but comes back quickly. Perhaps freakiest of all, Remus Lupin stands, calculating the whole thing, his expression passive and his demeanor calm.

"I think you could have done it in a neater way Prongs" he says finally as he turns to Lily Evens "Yes, can I help you?"

Lily recovers from her initial shock and sends a quick stunner at Lupin, who dodges neatly and sends back the Crutiatus Curse at her, hitting her in the chest and laughing as she screams. Potter gets up and starts hitting her with the Beater's bat, his laughs even more erratic and crazed than Lupin's.

Lily throws off the Crutiatus and twists Potter's arm backwards, snapping it in seven places, as she stuns Lupin. Then she leans into Pettigrew's face, and says clearly "Boo!" Pettigrew faints. Then Lily runs for the Headmaster and the three living boys upstairs are sent to Azkaban, the head of the fourth is stuck on a pike and set in the Hogwarts' dungeons as rat repellant.

The End

Okay, maybe that's a big fat lie. But it was so, damn fun!

_You know Lily, I might be forced to tell Kat about your violence and lying. _

Roy! You better get cute real fast, or so help me I will feed you to the fire.

GRRRRR…he looks like Potter! Stupid diary thing…

Roy, you were just thrown against a wall. Okay, I know what you all want.

Me: Remus, don't be a male stripper, don't drink and fly! You should turn in your prefect badge if you're going to set such a bad example!

Lupin: Lily…what do you mean?

Me: You said you were dangerous…so you're a violent drunk…and you were saying it was breaking about fifty rules…and that you were betraying Dumbledore's trust…so he trusted to be a good prefect…but you weren't…aren't…I don't know…so you're male stripper and a violent drunk…aren't you…

Black & Potter & Pettigrew: (Dissolving in laughs)

Lupin: Lily…I'm not a male stripper…

Me: That's what they all say!

Lupin: How many male strippers have you met?

Me:…You and…BLACK! (what?…he wasn't wearing a shirt…it was hot in their dorm because they couldn't open the windows and the light came streaming in real bright and it was hot in there…mostly because of three males…but still!!!)

Black: Sorry Evens, my manly glory is displayed in more private ways. (Wiggles his eyebrows) The Astronomy Tower?

Me: Ew.

(For all who don't go to Hogwarts, the Astronomy Tower is where the loudest kinkiest sex takes place. There's actually a sign up sheet. Edited by Black, of course.)

Black: What Evens? Your mom get to graphic when she told you where babies come from? Cuz mine did. But I don't listen to anything she says anyway, so, go figure!

Potter: Padfoot, I thought you said that you learned about the birds and the bees when you watched your dog and the neighbor's dog fu-

Me: This is where I came in! Remus, we'll talk more later about how you are or aren't a stripper. Don't forget we have prefect's patrol later this week!

Then I went and washed myself. Body, hands and mouth.


	2. Potter is a bully and Black has issues

Disclaimer: Please, don't make me say it. Don't make me say I don't own Harry Potter! I just said it...now I'm going to go be "Emotionally Hardcore"...i know it's lame...it's also about 2:00ish...am...

Hey Roy, what's up?

_Not much Lily. So how are you today? _

Fine…so lets see what happened today…

My friend Severus picked a fight with Black and Potter

I managed to successfully turn Black's hair brown during Transfiguration! Yay me!

I gave Potter a detention for bullying a first year!

I comforted said first year, and got his snot on my best shirt

Then, late at night, Remus and I went on Prefect duty

So, overall, not too bad a day!

Details then…Severus pointed out the fact that Black basiclly lived at Potter's during the summer. Which I would never do…but Black decided that he was better than his family, for some reason. At this point, Remus was holding Black back and chanting under his breath, 'he's not worth it, he's not worth it, he's not worth it' Then Severus started talking about how Black wasn't wanted at his house. Which I can understand. Then Black broke free of Remus' hold and hexed Severus. (Potter was in detention with McGonagall. Otherwise he would have joined in). So Severus sent back some sort of evilish looking hex, which shrivlled Black's wand hand to a little skeletal looking thing. At this point, I being a prefect, intervened and gave them both detention (giving Remus a scolding look for not giving it sooner. So Black got sent to the hospital wing, and Severus (who was only sporting pink hair, not to bad) was sorted out by Remus after I asked _very _nicely.

"It's almost a pity that a talented mutt like you can't get a job!" Severus told him

Severus is convinced that Remus is a werewolf. I say that he's too quiet. But that's just to Severus. There's something off about Remus, but he's a nice guy, I don't want to get him in trouble.

Next item then…Transfiguration…We weren't actually doing human transfigurations, but Black made me blond yesterday, and McGonagall took the opportunity to teach us the basics of hair color spells "Or goodness knows some of you will end up like Mr. Black"

Half the girls in Hogwarts are mad at me for ruining Sirius Black's hair. It's just hair, as pretty as it is!

So, Black used this spelly thing on me, I don't remember what it was, but then I used it back on him, and his hair turned like, Remus' color, and it was incredibly **not** hot. Remus looks much better with light brown hair. Sirius' face has the wrong structure, and he's just a shade too tan. Remus also has sexier scars.

I just analyzed why Remus looks better than Sirius with light brown hair. Did I just call Black Sirius, like twice? This is slightly disturbing, considering he's the closest thing to a person I hate except for Potter!

Let's move on shall we…

_Let's, I'm a manly man. I don't like to hear about pretty boys. _

Oh, btw, Roy is looking particularly fine today. Hair and eyes like Remus Lupin, but a more macho facial structure and he's muscled and well built, not as skinny as heck like Lupin. DROOL!

Next…giving Potter detention! Fun fun fun!

Okay, so Potter had started teasing this Ravenclaw first year about how Potter could pick him up and stick him inside his book bag and carry him around to classes. Then he did pick him up and stuff him inside his book bag, and he actually fit! The kid was only eleven, but still, he's very small. Quite cute actually, and I would tell him, except his feelings would be hurt. So I ordered Potter to take the kid back out. And he said no. So I told him to again. And he said no. At this point, I just got out my wand "Accio Potter's bag!" And then I took the kid out and held him on my hip, while I lectured Potter and gave him a detention with Flich.

At this point, all the people watching cleared out and then Potter sulked off in the other direction. Then I put the first year down and led him over to the stairs and sat down and pulled him into my lap.

And he started crying, said he wanted to go home. And I just held him and let him cry for a bit, then he said he doesn't really want to go home, he's just very homesick, even though he loves Hogwarts. I told him I felt the same way my first year. And then I walked him to class.

And only at the end of the day do I realize that the little punk got a huge wad of snot on my shirt! Little…grrrr…

So then…Prefect Duties with Remus.

We met in the Common Room and then left to patrol the halls. I was so excited to be doing prefect's duties for the first time ever! I mean, sure it'll be hard work, but it'll be worth it if I get to give Black detention…hehe…wheee! I'm evil!

…

Yes I do have issues Roy, that's why I have you!

Anyway, we found Black and Potter and Pettigrew coming out of the kitchen. They glared at Remus who just shrugged and said that it was his responsibility at least on his nights on duty to make sure they were in their dorms, and didn't he ask them to stay in for the night so that he wouldn't have to give them detention?

Black: you don't have to Remmie-kins

Potter: Sirius, no wonder people think you're gay

Black: Girls don't

Remus: Well girls have seen you…*sighs* Sirius, we've had this conversation before!

Black: Have we?

Me: All of you, get back to the dorm or get detention!

The three we found start to shuffle back sheepishly

Me: ALL OF YOU!

Remus looks at me strangely, then gives a mock bow, as I give him a dismissive sign, a grin on my face as they leave.

Then I complete my rounds in peace and go to sleep for the night.

The End

Actually I don't feel like going to sleep right now. So I'll make a list of Potter's issues. And Black's issues. And Pettigrew's issues. And Remus' issues if I'm still mad at him for not giving his friends detention.

So…Potter's issues:

1. he is an egotistical prat

2. he's a slacker

3. he has a problem with how much he messes with his hair

4. he won't stop bragging about his broom

5. he's a Quidditch addict

6. he picks fights

7. he picks on younger children

8. he's friends with Black

9. he loves having Pettigrew as a follower, and bosses him around too much

10. he's a womanizer

11. he doesn't listen to authority

12. he goofs off in class

13. he's a bully

14. he's too damn hot for his own good – and he knows it!

15. he's a prankster

16. for some reason, he doesn't get in trouble for half of his crimes

17. he refuses to leave me alone

18. he asks me out too much

19. and after he asks me out and I say no, he goes and messes with other girls

20. he has no respect for books

21. he has an unfair bias against Slytherins

22. no matter what, he can't get his big fat head around the fact that I loath him

23. he eats like a slob

24. he um…he…has messy handwriting!

25. he has dorky ears

26. he's a Marauder

27. he has an ugly nose

28. ummm…um…he's Muggle challenged!

29. um…uh…he…he's friends with Black! Wait…I already used that one…oh yeah! He spelled his own name wrong once! He spelled it Jameses…like he forgot that he had already put in e and s

30. he's stubborn

31. He's immature

32. he…um…refused to tutor a Hufflepuff girl in Transfiguration! Just because she was sharp enough to dump Pettigrew!

33. he made fun of Remus for becoming a prefect…like it was a bad thing!

34. he calls McGonagall Mom

35. and he calls Dumbledore Dad

36. um...um…uh…wow…I didn't think I'd get this many issues…

All of the above correspond to Black too!

Plus these ones

1. he's a womanizer!

2. he's got a warped and disgusting sense of humor

3. he gets rid of dates he doesn't want by saying that he's gay and James is his "partner in happiness"

4. He performs boob growing spells on girls if they're not big enough for him, then gets into their pants

5. then he humiliates them, by pointing out that he had to, in front of the whole school

6. he's a git

and other things that I'm to tired to write. Good night.


	3. I hate Transfiguation!

I disclaim

* * *

Yo Roy!

_Yo? _

Shut up. Anyway, today was pretty boring. Oh by the way, I thought I should tell you that I won a bet with Remus. He bet me that a klutz like me couldn't go a day without breaking anything in any classes on Friday the 13th. I waited until after the last class (Divination) to break a crystal ball. Professor Gregerson was a bit upset. Said that I should be more careful around the orb. I think it's a load of rubbish actually and I will probably dump it next year since I'll flunk out of it. Oh well.

So anyway…I've been bored today…meh…

PENGUINS!!!

Oh and I got a P on a Transfiguration test. I usually get As or Es on essays, but you can't have books with you during tests, and books don't help the practical side of the test. Meh. Me no like Transfiguration.

On a better note, I got an O on the latest Potions' test. Potions makes sense to me. And also Charms and Arithmancy. Potions, Charms and Arithmancy are my best classes.

Okay, night night!

* * *

A/N: hey, i know this chapter is short...i just wanted to get all my writting for this story up...my postings will probably be pretty inconsistant.


	4. My First Big Mistake

You know that woman...JKR...yeah...she would probably disapprove of the way I'm messing with her world...and charectors...

* * *

Roy, I have issues!

_What else is new Lily? _

No, no, these are big, major, make it into Hogwarts gossip history books issues!

…_Okay Lily, what are these "issues"? _

Okay, today during Arithmancy I got a note from Amelia Bones from Ravenclaw that Potter told Black, who told Pettigrew who told Rebecca McKinnon, who told Sally Diggory who told Amelia that Potter was tired of me saying no and was planning on finding me and snogging me. So I ate dinner with Severus today, and ignored all the comments the Slytherins were making, then went to hide in the Library.

Then this happened

Remus: Lily, why are you looking around like that?

Me: Oh well, you see, Amelia Bones told me that Sally Diggory told her to tell me that that Rebecca McKinnon told her that Pettigrew told her that Black, your friend, not the Shrimpy Prince of Slytherin, anyway, Black told Pettigrew that Potter had told him that he was tired of me not saying yes when he asked me to go out with him, because I was saying no instead, so then the was just going to snog me, and I didn't want him to, so I hid at the Slytherin table, then here in the library, with my romance novel, because if I read it in the Common Room, then people would probably support Potter not me, so I decided to stay here, and oh no…he's here.

Remus: Lily…that didn't make any sense…

Me: Oh shit, he's looking at me…

Remus: I didn't know James even knew where the library was…

Me: He's coming over here!

Remus: Maybe he's interested in…Muggle Mythology and its Impact on the Wizarding World (he's reading the title of a book)

Me: Remus, please forgive me for what I'm going to do!

Remus: What are you-

I had reached up, grabbed Remus' collar, and forced the great tall prat down to my short height and kissed him. Hard. I opened my mouth and started snogging him. Passionately. He was a bit stunned, then he did what any healthy, straight, single, fifteen year old wizard would have done. Snogged back. I pushed my fingers through his hair, all the way over and gripped his shoulders hard. He put his hands around my waist and kissed me more. I moved my hips slightly so that his hands slipped and he was holding my butt. That seemed to wake him up and he broke it off, then looked at me, as if horrified with what he had done. He glanced up at James.

Remus: I have no idea what just happened…except that Lily grabbed me and…

James is gone at this point. Remus groaned and pushed his fingers through his hair. It looked so different from when I had done it.

Remus: Lily…you better explain some stuff real fast

Me: I did! Before I kissed you I explained it all, I heard a rumor during Arithmancy that Potter was going to find me and snog me, so I came here to hide, but then he came here, so I had to get him to go away. And I did

Remus: So you not only intentionally hurt James, you used me to do it? That's not what friends do Lily.

His voice is hard and cold.

He's angry…very angry…

_I have no idea why_

Shut up Roy! You're here to be supportive, not to make me feel stupid!

So anyway…Remus is very angry with me…but the bad thing is I really do like him! He's sweet and kind and funny and studious and a good kisser! Or I think he is…that was my first kiss…and it felt very good…but I dunno…

Should I go for it? I really wanna…

_... _

Roy…this is where you are supportive and you assure me that I can have any boy I want!

_Oh…Lily I'm sure you can get any boy you want! Even Remus! _

No…no I can't…I know it…

_Okay, maybe you can't _

That's not the right answer!

_Oh…just go for it Lily, the worst he can do is say no! _

Thank you! Wait…I hear someone calling me down from where I'm hiding at the top of the bookshelf…yes the top of the bookshelf, it's amazing where you can get if you cast Levitation spells on yourself…


	5. Hope

Disclaimer...I disclaim

* * *

There, I'm back! I'm in my dorm now…and everyone has heard about me and Remus…

Black stuck a sign on my back. It said **Kick me, I'm a mananizer! **

Which I'm guessing is the counterpart of a womanizer…hypocrite!

Oh and the person calling me down was just Madame Pince kicking me out of the library…

Wait…there's a paper airplane coming up here…

_**Lily, I realize that I didn't give you a chance to justify your actions. Mostly because I am being mauled by McKinnon and forced to write this letter by St. Clair. So if we could talk about this, that would be good. **_

_**Remus **_

That sounds promising…I hope…Anyway, I'm going down now! I'll probably be too tired to write more when I get back so see you later Roy.


	6. The Shakesperian RomanceNOT!

I disclaim

* * *

Roy…I'm dying…I'm colder than the Artic…and hotter than a volcano…

_Oh really Lily? _

Shut up…I'm sick…

_How did that happen? _

I went to see Remus…because he said he wanted to talk to me…and I found him in the Transfiguration room, washing the floors…he said he was in detention for punching James back…I felt kinda guilty then…but not a lot…because he could have pulled away and slapped me…

So any way, let me give you a look into our conversation…

Remus: Lily, why did you do that?

Me: Because…I didn't want James to snog me…Do you blame me?

Remus: No! but I'm a bloke…not a girl…of course I don't want him to snog me…

Me: Well then I wish I was a bloke too! Then James would leave me alone!

Remus: Maybe…

Me: Oh Merlin…

Remus: LILY! Can't you tell a joke when you hear one?

Me: Oh…I knew that…

Remus: No you didn't (he sounds amused…fondly amused maybe?)

Me: Mehhh… :p (that's me sticking out my tounge)

(Merlin I feel so juvenile!)

Remus: Oh that's mature

(I pouted…can you believe it…me, Lily Evens, prefect extraordinaire, the sensible one with the straight Os…I actually pouted…)

Remus: But seriously Lily…why couldn't you just tell James you didn't want to snog him?

Me: Because he never listens

Remus: …you know that's what I told James about Sirius and he agreed with me

Me: You mean Sirius tries to snog you?

Remus: Oh yes all the time (sarcastically) NO Lily, he does not! I mean that he never listens when I tell him he's going to get in trouble.

Me: You should have said so

(Remus runs his fingers through his hair very sexily…drool!)

Remus: But Lily…just please…listen…you used me…and you didn't think about how one of my best friends might never forgive me for this…

Me: But Remus, you self deprecating prat, listen to me! I didn't just snog you because James was coming at me. Heck if I just wanted to repel him I'd snog Madame Hooch. I love you, you…you…nerdy…loveable…huggable…person….

Remus: You've got the queers for Madame Hooch?

Me: No I do not, and you're missing the point, Dolt! I LOVE YOU! YOU ARE EXTREMLY HOT AND NICE AND LOVEABLE! AND A GOOD KISSER!

Remus: Woah…never saw that one coming…

(I reach up, grab his collar once again, shove my tongue down his throat and kiss him passionately, with much butt grabbing and hair pulling and I let him slide his fingers around the edge of my shirt, teasing me. I tease him back, fingers in his waist band. Then we break away)

Me: Oh Merlin…did I just say all that…and snog you…of my gosh…

Then I run away…out to the lake…and it's raining…

My friend Severus finds me…

Severus: Lily…why are you out here in the rain?

Me: Why are you out here?

Severus: I was just thinking and getting some potions ingredients for…Slughorn…

Me: Okay

Severus: Are you going to tell me why you're out here?

Me: Well…you heard about how I snogged Remus Lupin right?

Severus: No…I've been off…with my mum…she needed some help with something so Dumbledore let me go after dinner that night you ate at our table…

Me: Well…I went to hide from Potter in the library…and then he found me…and I was talking with Remus…so I…um…grabbed him and forced him to kiss me…and I guess he liked it and I defiantly liked it…so…well by the time we broke apart Potter had turned and left…and just now I went to talk to Remus…and I told him I liked him…and he didn't seem mad…just said "Woah…never saw that one coming" and then I snogged him again…and it was wonderful…then I realized what I had done and ran out here

Severus looked at me hard

Severus: Lily, I don't want you to get hurt…you can't trust Lupin…you know my theories about him…

Me: I know and I don't care! He's a kind bloke and he respects me and he's not hanging out with people who practice the dark arts under their bed sheets!

Severus: Come on Lily, you don't think that Muncibler and Flint-

Me: I don't think, I know…and I see the way you lead Black on, the kid's just a third year, but you all think that because he's a Black he has to be branded next year and finish what Bellatrix began, insane bitch that she is…she's killed before…there's a wildness in her eyes that I haven't seen in any other seventh year, and I know that Narcissa Black has been impregnated by Malfoy at least five times, and she's around so many Dark things at her home that she's lost them all, and Crouch, that kid in Black's year, he's clearly suffering from some mental problem, and does anyone besides me realize that all that crap is happening from all the Dark Magic in your common room?

And Severus was angry.

So he went inside and I stayed out in the rain. For two hours. Then Remus the ever adorable came outside and rescued me

Remus: Oh Lily, thou art even more beautiful when sopping wet

Lily: Why Remus, though art too kind to such a wretched girl as myself

Remus: Never wretched my love, always lovely

Lily: Oh Remus, the warmth of thy words keeps even this horrid cold at bay

Remus: Oh my love, thou art too kind. But thou said that thou was chilled by this frosted night. Come, let us too the warm fire of our common room. Where we may warm our bodies until they are as warm as our love-struck hearts.

Lily: Oh Remus, wilt thou kiss me with those soft lips that spout such poetry?

Remus: I wilt my beauty

(they kiss passionately, with most elegant clasping of hands…and other less mentionable body parts)

Lily: Oh Remus, thy hands are cold!

Remus: So are thy hands. It must be that our hearts snatch away all the warmth

Lily: Oh come, let us in, Remus, I wish to put on dry clothes. Wilt thou help me?

Remus: Certainly my lady (the voice of this passionate youth is low and husky as he sweeps the tall, slender, elegant lady off her feet and carries her into the castle)

…

Okay, maybe it wasn't exactly like that…in fact I was asleep and I only woke up when Remus tried to carry me up the stairs to my room. I woke up mid fall and looked down to see the rather wonderful sight of Remus underneath me, looking rather pained. Then I fell on top of him and we slid down to the bottom of the stairs. My head was pressed against his chest, my wet hair had become rather curly and unmanageable…it's always been hard to deal with, because it tangles so easily, but I usually got it to do what I wanted after it was brushed…anyway, it was far from glamorous, more like just plain awkward…especially after he realized that one of his arms was tangled in-between my legs, and the his other arm was under around my torso and his fingers were digging into one of my boobs.

I wanted to die.

_He probably did to…_

Then we could have explained things in heaven!

…

Maybe…

Anyway, after that I had no other option than to charm our clothes and hair dry, and conjure some cots on the common room floor. The damn slide wouldn't go back. So I changed the staircase up to the boys area to become a slide for as long as the girls one was a slide. Then I got under the covers in my cot and looked at Remus. He had fallen asleep almost right away. He was so cute! I couldn't resist. So I slid under his covers. For just five minutes. Then I went back to my bed. And fell asleep. In my own bed. Not in his!

Mostly.

But no one caught me.

So it doesn't matter.

Mostly.

Then I went to sleep. And when I woke up, Remus was in my bed. No joke. Anyway, I got up and went to the prefect's bathroom. Yes in my pajamas, but it was 7 on a Saturday. Who gets up at 7 on a Saturday?

Madame Pomphery, that's who. She took one look at me and bustled me into the hospital wing. And fed me lots of nasty potions. Apparently I have pneumonia and the flu. And some Swedish influenza thing or something. Anyway, she's coming over here. Must pretend to be asleep.


	7. The botched sonnet and other things

I feel much better now…Madame Pomphery knows her stuff…I must admit, I almost let you out Roy…that could have been disastrous!

_I love you too Lily _

Yeah…anyway, Remus hasn't come to visit me…but someone left a Honey-Dukes chocolate bar on my table and I felt a butterfly kiss on my cheek…

I'm bored. Life is not interesting here in a hospital wing. Apparently Potter and Black have officially kicked Remus out of their little group. They had a whole ceremony thing where they stripped him of his nickname. He's no longer Moony.

Meh…I'm so bored. There are 582 ½ tiles on the ceiling of the hospital wing. Potter sent me a singing card that went like this

**I know you snogged a nerd **

**But you're too beautiful**

**For him, he's a turd**

**With hair that's horrible**

**Let's not fight **

**I love you're hair**

**It's just right **

**And I want to see you bare**

**Make me a happy man**

**Cuz I already have looks**

**You'd be more than another fan**

**I'm better than books**

**Not trying to brag**

**Let's just go shag **

How immature! And horrible poetry too! Shakespear would be rolling in his grave if he saw this botched sonnet!

And I wouldn't forget kisses like the two Remus and I shared anytime soon

They were heaven!

Well I'll see you later Roy, Madame Pomphery's letting me go free!

_Bye Lily. _

_She doesn't seem to need me much anymore. _

* * *

Roy, I'm in seventh heaven!

_When are you and Remus having your date? _

How did you guess? Oh Roy, he's so sweet. And hawt…ahh…who ever said Black and Potter got all the looks in that group was blind! He's skinny true, but he's still so strong and so tall! I remember in first year he was shorter than me, now I have to tilt my head way up to look him in the eye. And to kiss him I have to pull him down and stand on my toes…there's something so romantic about standing on your toes to kiss a boy!

We're going to Hogsmead next weekend! I'm so excited…oh no…

_What? _

I have absolutely nothing to wear!

_You have plenty of clothes _

Yes but…well I suppose I could wear the navy sweater dress with the black leggings…or the black short skirt with white and black striped shirt…maybe a slinky little open robe deal with skinny jeans…

_Why don't you ask your room mates? Isn't that what girls do? _

No, I don't want like their style…I like my torso covered especially with how cold it's going to be that Sunday…the sweater dress and leggings it is…

Ahhhhh…I absolutely love to be around Remus Lupin…do you know how he asked me?

_No but I have a feeling you're going to tell me…_

I told him I was sorry that his friends didn't want him around anymore on our way to class and he kinda shrugged it off "They've been mad at each other before. I suppose it's only fair that it's my turn sometimes"

"But they don't want anything to do with you"

"No, James is just jealous and Peter is just a loyal prat and Sirius is too much of a git to make up his mind. He chooses to pick on both of us"

I giggled, mentally kicking myself for acting like a little school girl. Remus smiled slightly and he slipped his hand through mine. My heart was pounding so fast I thought it would explode. I grinned back at him and we walked like that until we got to the Transfiguration classroom, but before we could go in, he pulled me back and into an empty classroom. My heart was going so, so, so fast I was about to fall over dead

"Lily" he said getting down on one knee "You've been my friend for five years and I recently relized just how beautiful you are, so would you make me a happy man and–

"I do!" I almost shouted happily, then I looked at Remus' bemused expression and blushed

"Well I wasn't asking to marry you, I just wanted to go to Hogsmead together" he said, clearly amused. What was it about me that entertained him so much? Besides the tongue hockey and my bum?

Still I beamed at him "Yes I would like that very much!"

So we then went to Transfiguration. I insisted so of course he said yes.

Oh Roy, I'm so happy!!! The only thing that could make this day better would be Potter and Black getting expelled. Or maybe some heavy duty snogging. Now that I could make happen…See you later Roy!

_Quite a girl…Sweet but a bit mental…_


	8. My DREAM Date at Hogsmead!

Hey Roy!!!

_How was your date with Remus? _

Well…it was interesting that's for sure…I now know three more things about Remus

He is very good at sharing chocolate mouth to mouth

He can draw very well

He is very fun to watch fireworks with, especially the fireworks that the mayor of Hogsmead lets off for the 500th anniversary of the founding of Hogsmead

First we went to the bookstore and we browsed for a while. I love books, especially trashy romance novels. I bought three new ones and hid them in the bottom of my purse. The deep blue one with that's all silky soft and deep. Btw, I wore my hair brushed out and curled, and decided to wear the black robe with the very faded skinny jeans and stretchy black t-shirt.

The whole time I had the strangest feeling we were being watched

After that we went to Honey Dukes and each stuffed a bag full of candy to gorge on later. We found a table and chairs in a little temporary plaza thing set up so that people can watch the fireworks.

We started entertaining ourselves with the special effects treats first. I sat on Remus' lap and he hooked his arms around my waist while I sucked on a huge Fizzing Whizzbe…that was funny…we're both pretty light, so I ended up lifting both of us off the chair and we accidentally kicked over our little table thing. When we reached the ground we were both rather hyper and tired of waiting for the snogging. So we didn't wait any longer. We had lots of fun with our kissing and butt grabbing and stuff. I felt very high afterwards.

After we were done with all of our different kisses (the chocolate swap was my favorite) we started talking about what we wanted to do once we graduated

"I want to go into research for the Light side" I told Remus "With all the attacks on Muggle Borns by this Lord Moldy-shorts person, I figure we should all try to find their weaknesses and stuff"

"That does sound good and important" Remus said "I personally really want to be an Auora"

"You need top grades for that"

"I know. And my Potions grade looks like it'll be dismal this year. As always"

I grinned at his woeful face "I'll help you in Potions if you help me in Transfiguration"

"It's a deal" Remus agreed

Yay!!! That means we get to see more of each other!

So after that, he took a sketch book out of his wallet (it was a small sketch book, not bigger than 5x3 inches) and she started drawing us up in the air, the table down below us on it's side, candy spilling out of the bag, my hair blowing into his face in the wind, the tattered ends of his jeans and shoelaces blowing in the wind. It was very good and it included everything important.

Then I asked if I could have it and he said yes!

YAY!!! A PICTURE DRAWN BY MY HAWT NEW BOYFRIEND…oh…did I just give away the ending?

_Yeah pretty much_

It speaks! Gasp!

_Lily…you're not going to be happy until you finish, so go on, finish_

Okay, fine, so when I've got the picture in my purse tucked into one of my new novels, then it's getting dark, so we start talking. It's very interesting to see Hogwarts' gossip from Remus' point of view

And after that it was truly dark and we went up on the roof of Honey Dukes and all the fireworks went off…I think some of them were black, because sometimes we heard bangs but didn't see anything…

Speaking of Black, he's got another girl in his arms tonight. My friend Marlene McKinnon. She's really pretty actually, but she's a nice girl, not Black's type at all. Kat's really very jealous so she's talking it out by flirting with Gideon Prewitt, 17 year old really gorgeous prat of a of a Gryffindor.

Anyhoots, Black and Marlene were defiantly getting it going on the next rooftop. I'm not sure what they were wearing but it wasn't much. Thankfully the fireworks drowned out almost everything

It was a lot of fun watching fireworks with Remus. We talked and laughed a lot. We also threw cockroach clusters at Black and Marlene. That was a lot of fun too. At the end of it when we were climbing down from the roof, Remus asked me to be his girlfriend! I was so happy, I said yes right away.

Then a two blurs came out of no where and almost knocked Remus down. He has super reflexes, because he was able to dodge both of them. And he's surprisingly strong for someone as skinny as he is, because he knocked them both out by smashing their heads together before I could even see who they were. He glanced at them both, looking both angry and hurt. I started to go forward to see who they were, but he placed an arm around my waist and dragged me back towards the castle and leaving the two people behind.

Of course I'm not stupid and I know that they were Potter and Snape, the little stalkers.


End file.
